My relationship with my body is something that is morphing and grown unexpectedly, but has always been easy to keep in a neutral zone in my psyche. However, over the past 5 years it has come into view and I have had to face it more directly. Being a queer Gen-Z with an instagram account, I have seen what “works” and what “doesn’t work”, and hyper skinny boys with protruding rib cages didn’t seem like one of those working components. I am more comfortable with my body now more so than ever before as I have stopped linking my body with any shame or sexual references that are beyond my perspective of myself.
Nudity to me means having full control of your body. It means being vulnerable and strong. I also try not to place too much meaning onto it as we already have such a huge problem with the meaning and societal links with naked bodies.
I feel like it's important to express my sexuality as I believe I am showing, for anyone who hasn’t seen it, an alternative version of “Masculinty” “Homosexuality” “Queerness” and “Youth”.
I wish we understood that the naked body is not something to be feared. Especially our own. Also finding absolute peace with our bodies may not be obtained, and we must find peace with that too.
Since moving to London and being with my two partners, who have exposed me to a different way of seeing nudity, I now am very casual about nudity and being naked for mainly art purposes (photoshoots and life drawings, classes, etc).
My sex life is normal and also a fantasy within itself to many others as I am in a three way Polyamorous relationship. It is also an open relationship so we are able to sleep with others. My sex life is indescribable at this moment.
I love dirty talk, but not during sex, I enjoy watching fisting videos but that doesn’t necessarily mean I enjoy the act. Kissing and moaning are extremely stimulating, which sound simple, but when missing can stop momentum which I find stunting.
I have a fantasy. It’s a big salon style gathering with rose coloured lighting. A non-gendered person is at the door in a full latex outfit, head to toe, checking the guest list. Under their feet is a human rug slave who has to be stepped on to enter the apartment. A house party filled with friends in the main room, patrolled by a beefcake in a diaper. My friends are having fun and drinking and in the bedroom a private gangbang is happening, and I am the boy on the bed, naked, apart from a mask with only the mouth hole cut out. Guys who have been whitelisted can enter and breed me one at a time under a time limit. This goes on until it’s over and I finish the party with my friends.
For me my favorite physical attribute about my body is my face, as it is a direct reference to my parents and what they have given me to be able to love myself. That is something they cannot teach me.
In A Risk Self Examination, Todd Lamming opens up for Risk Restricted.
Model/Subject Todd Lamming
